Holiday Stew

Holiday Stew

Take two ivory-billed woodpeckers, about five pounds each. Cut
into pieces like chicken, and deep-fry in 3 pounds of lard for half an
hour or until tender. Drain off most of the grease, leaving two or three cups.

Add:
one quart of canned white gravy
one can of drained green beans
one can of red kidney beans
one cup iodized salt

Simmer all this for half an hour. Serve with Wal-Mart macaroni salad,
toaster waffles, and Falstaff beer. Enjoy!